7 Things to Learn from Reality Show Couples
Marriage isn’t always the happy bliss that we dream it will be leading up to our wedding day. That is the reality of life, and really - it is ok. But when is Reality really reality? Is Reality TV really real? Most of the times, it isn’t. A lot is left behind on the cutting room floor. There are still things we can learn from Reality TV couples though - as this article at HitchedMag points out.
My favorite:
Say what you mean, but no need to be mean with what you say. Your mother was right! If you don’t have anything nice to say… be quiet. Not something that often happens on reality television and we certainly see the outcome. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth, but turn the volume down a notch and pay attention when your spouse is speaking—no “channel surfing” allowed!
Your wedding plans shouldn’t just be about your wedding day. They should be about the marriage after the day too!
What things do you think you can learn from Reality TV couples?
Confessions of a Bride-to-be: Beyond the Event
Last time I wrote, I expressed my frustration with getting my wedding plans underway. After a long brainstorming session with Mr. C, we’ve decided to have our wedding cake and eat it three times. A small intimate ceremony and dinner in our current home town, followed by two fun parties: one in my home state, then one in his. Now, I’m interviewing venues and making plans to send out save the date cards. I’m having much more fun with this portion of the planning. Through out this process, Mr. C and I have been making effort to remember the main goal, to become husband and wife.
Many engaged couples go through counseling or religious training before their wedding day. Communication and conversation is the cornerstone of our relationship. Since we decided to get married, we’ve been having structured and unstructured conversations about topics that are important to discuss before marriage:
- Children: Do we want children? What are the financial and emotional strains having children may put on our relationship? Who will be the primary care givers? How do we envision our roles as parents?
- Finances: What are our goals? What is his spending style and what it mine? Who will be in charge of paying the bills and keep the family budget?
- Household chores: What is the division of labor in the house? What do we expect from each other as housemates and partners?
- Health: How is our health? Is our insurance coverage enough? What are some areas we could be better for each other and ourselves?
- Affection: How important is sex and intimacy? What are our expectations? How might our affections change over time? We established an open channel to discuss affection and intimacy.
- Religion: What are our spiritual and religious beliefs? How do we want our children raised? How do we approach spirituality and what role do we expect it to play in our lives?
- Friends and family: What are the boundaries and roles of our friends and family in our relationship? Does either of us foresee issues or challenges with friends or family members? Can we respect and honor each other friends and family?
- Career: What are our long-term and short term plans? Is relocation an option? Will both of us always work?
It has been an enlightening process. Our conversations have served to only deepen our love and affection for each other. So, I ask you dear reader, in your opinion: what are some important questions or conversation to have before marriage? Please leave your suggestions or feedback in the comments.
Anne-Marie & Chris - Wedding at Isla Mujeres, Mexico
The 15 Minutes of Fame Returns! Anne-Marie & Chris were married at Zama Beach Club in Isla Mujeres, Mexico on April 30, 2007. The island is off the coast of Cancun, and they decided to leave their northern Washington home for a destination wedding because they wanted to elope and have only close family and friends at their wedding. Once they started their wedding planning, they decided that they wanted to go to a tropical location where they could scuba dive - making Isla Mujeres ideal!
Anne-Marie & Chris met on April 30, 2005, Chris proposed to Anne-Marie with an absolutely stunning ring designed by one of Tiffany’s former lead designers, Ritani, on April 30, 2006 - so picking April 30, 2007 as their wedding date was the perfect choice!
Chris’s brother is a monk, and he performed the ceremony for them. They had a cellist play for the ceremony on the beach.
Once they selected their destination, they planned a scouting trip to Mexico to check it out. While there, they met with Juliette of Papillion Weddings and hired her to be their wedding planner. This made the planning easier for Anne-Marie, who was planning from a distance while running a large successful business at the same time. The rest of the planning was done via email, making it a breeze!
Anne-Marie & Chris hired Wendy Kromer, Martha Stewart’s cake designer, to create 8 mini-cakes for them, designed to match the sash on Anne-Marie’s dress in the photo above. The cakes featured orchids that were simply stunning, and Chris carried them on the flight from Washington to Mexico! He actually made two trips to the airport before they left to make sure that they could make it onto the plane with him - once to make sure the would fit as a carry-on, and again to make sure that the wires in the cakes wouldn’t pose a problem with security. If planning something special like that that is that crucial to your wedding day plans, it is always wise to make sure that everything will work out well in advance!
Their fabulous wedding day photography is by Cecilia Dumas of Cancun and the Maya Riviera, and Anne-Marie and Chris truly loved working with her - they said that they can’t get enough of looking at their wedding photos!
Planning a Photogenic Wedding - Part 3
Today’s post is part three of a three part series, courtesy of Darbi G. of Darbi G. Photography. Darbi is a recent bride in addition to being a wedding photographer herself. This gives her a very unique perspective on wedding planning. You can find her blog here. Stacy Reeves of Dallas, Texas provided the gorgeous photography.
Be sure to read part 1 and part 2 of this series for other great suggestions on making your wedding photography fabulous!
7. Receptions should be the icing on the cake.
This is the time in which you, as the bride and groom, can really make an impression. Good food, free drinks…those are great to have. But the one piece of advice I can give to you… is… if you can’t a afford a kick-butt cover band (we couldn’t!!) HIRE A DJ.
I know, it’s probably tempting to save the $700-800 and get a friend to just push play on that iPod. But a good DJ can make a difference. If I’ve heard one thing about our wedding time and again, it’s that our DJ, James Cloyd of Complete Music, absolutely ROCKED. Seriously. He worked the reception and I didn’t have to worry about a thing. The guests had TONS OF FUN. Because of him!
The timeline of the reception had a lot to do with it. I’ve been to many receptions at which it’s stop and go all night. And the dancing that everyone wants to do just keeps getting pushed back. Before the bride and groom know it, everyone but a few close friends have bailed.
I asked my DJ to write our own timeline. I told him what all I wanted to do, but I wanted him to put it in the order that he, as a DJ, thought would work best for the guests. And he loved that I asked it! Because now he could finally use his own expertise. Man, he NAILED it.
This was the order of our events. And it went sooo smoothly. I highly, highly, highly recommend taking this to your DJ and discussing it with them to make the perfect timeline for your wedding.
- Cocktail hour (while wedding party was getting pics taken)
- Guests take seats/wedding party introduced
- Bride & groom immediately cut cake (only cut it…don’t serve it!! Be sure to let the photographer know in advance so that they can get photos of the cake before it is cut, and so that they are ready to take the cake-cutting pictures.)
- Father of bride does welcome toast
- Blessing
- Dinner served
- Toasts
- B&G restroom break/make rounds to visit
- Cake is served
- While people are eating cake:
- Specialty dances (the bride & groom’s first dance, father/daughter, mother/son)
- Bouquet and garter toss
- Wedding party dance to open up the dance floor
- Dance set of music
- Second set: During this time, I urge you to go outside or somewhere on premises somewhere with your photographer for a few more shots of just the two of you - like the photo at the end of this post
- Dollar dance or any other traditions like this
- DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!!!
By pushing everything that is considered an “event” into the beginning, this keeps the momentum going. If people want to dance, they will get their chance without having to wait all night long…or without having to start dancing…get in the groove…and then have to abandon the dance floor so you can throw your bouquet, etc.
And don’t be afraid to spice up the reception even more with your own customs, or fun things like a candy toss for the kids (so they don’t have to steal the bouquet/garter belt) etc. Again, use your wedding as a way to show guests who you both are!! It’s a once-in-a-lifetime party that you are throwing for those you love the most. At Darbi & Neil’s Wedding, a friend of theirs performed a special song just for them!
If you have any questions or comments about what I’ve recommended, please share! Or any of your own tips??? Spill the beans!
I hope every bride and groom gets their perfect day. It’s such a great way to start off a life together!
Planning a Photogenic Wedding - Part 2
Today’s post is courtesy of Darbi G. of Darbi G. Photography. Darbi is a recent bride in addition to being a wedding photographer herself. This gives her a very unique perspective on wedding planning. You can find her blog here. Stacy Reeves of Dallas, Texas provided the wedding photographs.
Be sure to read part 1 of this series for other great suggestions on making your wedding photography fabulous!
4. Ceremonies don’t have to be boring.
There aren’t many ceremonies from which guests walk away and say: Wow. That was a great ceremony. Why? Because so few couples stray from the traditional elements. Tradition is beautiful. But it’s even more beautiful if it’s complemented by something that screams who YOU are…as a couple. I know a lot of what you can and cannot do is based on the religion or the site rules. But you can still inject some flavor by:
- Writing your own vows
- Choosing music that means something
- Having special dedication moments
- Using readings that speak to your relationship
- Having friends/family sing
- Taking time to plan small details such as programs, ceremony favors, lighting embellishments
- And most of all…don’t be afraid of humor!!
5. What you put on your feet matters.
Most people can’t see the bride’s feet. But that gives you even more reason to want to show them off!! Put on some shoes that are comfy…but that also play up to the feel of your wedding. Even just wearing a pair that are in your wedding colors can do A LOT. And it will make the bride feel sexier, too…
6. The little things count.
One of my favorite parts of weddings is the details. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to bring it all together. Make things yourself. Check out Etsy.com to get inexpensive, but personalized elements for your wedding day, such as:
- Guestbook
- Favor tags
- Ring presentation dishes/pillows
- Flower girl baskets
- Garter belts
- Cake toppers
- Bouquet charms
- Photo display
- Candles
- Gifts
- Card holder
- And so forth!!! The possibilities are endless!
You’ll be surprised how far the little things go in making a wedding FEEL and LOOK special.
Be sure to check back tomorrow for part 3 of the series on how to make your wedding photogenic!
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