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Where do I go from here?
“Now, honey, don’t do the whole thing out of town,” says my grandmother, as I tell her about my wedding plans. By out of town she means the city I was considering for my wedding, which is a 40 minute drive from my home town. As I hang up, I feel my blood pressure rising. What is a short drive compared to the many people traveling from out-of-state to be at our wedding? Is she serious? Whole thing?! I wonder which part she’s hoping to attend.
My home town boasts two swanky hotels: “Holiday Sin” and the “No-tell Motel”. I was considering a larger town for my wedding, to offer better accommodation to out-of-town guests, with a destination they may enjoy. Apparently, this will be inconvenient for some family members, who’d prefer that I marry on TV so they can watch from home. Oh gosh, excuse me, I just had bridezilla moment.
It’s been 3 months since my honey and I engaged, and I’ve made scant progress on my plans. I have, however, spent hours researching, day dreaming, making notes, building a budget, surfing the net for ideas, rebuilding the budget, considering selling all my belongings on ebay, begging on the phone, sketching dress ideas and considering elopement.
I have bookmarked about a hundred different options online from locations, to dresses, to rings, to ideas, to cakes, to flowers, to forums and I’ve decided three things I want for sure: easy, inexpensive, and beautiful. It seems that this is a virtually impossible combination. You can have easy and inexpensive, but not beautiful. Inexpensive and beautiful, but not easy. Easy and beautiful, but not inexpensive. And that last one is the most common option.
I often fall asleep wishing someone would just put together a simple elegant wedding package that doesn’t cost the price of a small car, and can be held close to my family and friends. But I wake each day with the realization that we are another day closer to the date I’ve set, and yet no closer to having an event planned.
Now I’m wondering should I spend a fortune on one day, paying for it over the next ten years? Or curb my desires to accommodate the local Knights of Columbus Hall as a reception site? Or chuck it all and marry my sweetness at the local justice of the peace?
I’ve consulted the Magic Eight Ball, it said, “Reply hazy. Ask again later.”
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Go with your gut, your family will make sure they are there – especially if it means comfort and style over bedbugs!!!
One thing I stress to my brides is to take things into consideration that people request but never loose the fact that this is YOUR day (meaning you and your intended) and that you need to make sure YOU are still in that day. I hear so many times people upset that at the end of the (long) day that they wish they’d done this or that that they’d wanted but relented because Aunt Sally didn’t like the idea. If it isn’t that much of a drive (under an hour drive is acceptable IMHO) then you are fine!
I completely understand (I have too many relatives like that!)–if your grandmother and other elderly relatives are concerned with the ‘distance’, you could always ask a few aunts and uncles with vehicle space to get them to the ceremony and reception. That would save them having to drive (especially if the festivities ends in the later hours) and your peace of mind on enjoying your day
Thanks ladies, great perspective. It is a day to celebrate a commitment Mr. C and I are making and that is the whole point. I will follow my instincts and make a choice that fit’s our style.
As someone who is still paying off my wedding (I got married 10 months ago), I have to admit that it is still worth every penny! Of course, you must set a budget and stick to it. But I suggest picking one or two splurge items that are important to you (for me it was dress and flowers) and save in other areas (I got my invites at Target since they usually end up in the trash anyway!). Spend some extra money for an open bar (your guests will thank you). And make SURE you don’t scrimp on photography. Your day will go by in a blur, and the photos will likely be your only chance to see what really happened (I still can’t believe how many things my photographer caught that I didn’t even notice!).
Just remember to breathe. At the end of the day, you’re just as married…that’s what really matters.
On budgeting, I say go for your dreams and don’t scrimp (within reason). I am still paying off my wedding from last October and it is still worth every penny.
In setting your budget, pick out one or two high ticket items you refuse to compromise on (for me it was dress and flowers) and identify areas you can save (since most invitations end up in the trash, I ordered mine through Target).
Don’t scrimp on food and beverage–if the food is good and the alcohol flowing, your wedding will be a success in the eyes of your guests. It doesn’t matter what favors you provide, or how elaborate your seating cards are.
Finally, don’t scrimp on photography. You definitely get what you pay for–and your photos will be your window into the precious moments of your day you didn’t have time to take in.
Happy planning! And don’t let your grandmother railroad you. The people who love you will come no matter what it takes